The Art of the Australian Insult


“You’d rather see the country fail”
April 6, 2009, 5:35 am
Filed under: Politicians, The economy | Tags: ,

“They are just completely irresponsible and reckless. I think they would rather see the country fail than see the Rudd Government succeed.”

Treasurer Wayne Swan hits out at the Opposition’s threat to block aspects of the budget if they are unhappy with allocations, during an interview on the ABC.



Hide it in the mattress
April 3, 2009, 10:53 pm
Filed under: International relations, The economy

“Don’t put your stimulus bonus under the bed, folks. According to the Opposition, that’s where the Chinese are hiding.”

Steve Forsyth, Tumut, NSW, letter to The Australian.



The glue that binds the nation
February 16, 2009, 1:13 am
Filed under: State of the nation, The economy | Tags: ,

“It is infuriating that Big Kev can blow $42 billion on a relatively new problem while the intergenerational neglect of the first Australians festers beneath the facade of a fair go for all.

The staggering scale of this injustice is not an accident; it is proof that racism is the glue by which this nation is bound.”

Jonathan Hill Old Erowal Bay, letter to the Sydney Morning Herald.



Lying about the size of your package
February 16, 2009, 1:08 am
Filed under: Politicians, Sex, The economy | Tags:

“Interviewed on ABC News Radio on Friday morning, the Opposition MP Joe Hockey declaimed that “the Government has lied about the size of its package”. It’s OK, Joe. Blokes do that all the time.”

Nathan Zamprogno Richmond, letter to the Sydney Morning Herald.



A “brazen act of economic criminality”
February 8, 2009, 6:59 am
Filed under: Politicians, State of the nation, The economy | Tags: , ,

“Those not in the right income range, the severely stressed middle class (and this is as much a white collar as blue collar recession-depression), watch in fury as others enjoy another windfall. Why, because the Prime Minister is eyeing Howard’s workers. Yet another obscenity in this brazen act of economic criminality.”

David Hirst criticises the $42 billion stimulus plan. He is not impressed with the Opposition either:

“But the handouts have nothing to do with economics. Turnbull, while decrying Labor’s giveaway, is happy to see more money doled out in the way of tax cuts — as is the Government. This is akin to applying leeches to bleed a patient already weakened.

The nation is going to pot.”



42.
February 7, 2009, 2:33 am
Filed under: Politicians, The economy | Tags: , , ,

“Could it be that Kevin Rudd’s ideological basis for the $42billion answer to life, the recession and everything is more Douglas Adams than John Maynard Keynes?”

Jeremy Shor, Dianella, WA, letter to The Australian.



“This one-eyed Scottish idiot”
February 6, 2009, 11:48 pm
Filed under: Celebrities, Politicians, The economy | Tags: , ,

“I’ve never seen such a nervous man. It’s the first time we’ve seen a world leader admit we really are in deep shit. He genuinely looked terrified. In England we have this one-eyed Scottish idiot … who keeps telling us everything is fine and he’s saved the world, and we know he’s lying.”

Jeremy Clarkson compares Kevin Rudd to Gordon Brown at a press conference in Sydney. Clarkson later apologised after his remarks caused a fracas in the UK.



Stimulus, then premature election?
February 6, 2009, 5:33 am
Filed under: Politicians, The economy | Tags: , ,

Readers of The Australian try their hand at comedy:

I can see Labor’s slogan for the next election now—“Kevin Rudd: pocket change you can believe in!”

Daniel Avey 
Paddington, Qld

 

In November 2007, Kevin Rudd announced that he wanted to put a computer on every senior student’s desk at a cost of $1billion. With the second stimulus package of $42 billion, it looks as though every Australian household will have a plasma TV by 2010. 

Ed Sianski 
West Moonah, Tas

Does anyone else get the feeling that all this stimulation is the forerunner to a premature election?

Geoff O’Brien 
Eltham, Vic

I agree with the Liberal Party and all its supporters: let’s immediately do nothing.

Geoff Edmanson 
Brassall, Qld



Kevin’s Crusade
February 6, 2009, 5:30 am
Filed under: Politicians, The economy

“IN the middle of what he describes as the worst economic crisis since the Depression, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has decided to launch a divisive personal crusade against so-called “neo-liberalism”. Rather than economic solutions, Rudd is seeking ideological retribution.”

Former NSW Labor Treasurer Michael Costa, who says that Rudd’s analysis of the situation is “superficial” and a “rambling and selective economic history”.



Shovel readiness
February 6, 2009, 4:55 am
Filed under: Politicians, The economy | Tags: , ,

“Ten minutes of this carry-on is enough to bring on distinct feelings of violent shovel readiness in the average observer, but we have to forgive these state and territory leaders. They are having a lovely, lovely, crisis.”

Annabel Crabb reports on the bonanza being enjoyed by the state premiers as Kevin Rudd handed out billions of dollars to various projects in an attempt to stave off recession. It appears that we have a new term to add to our dictionary of governmentspeak: shovel-ready.