The Art of the Australian Insult


The Poms, always gracious in victory
August 27, 2008, 1:16 am
Filed under: International relations, Sport | Tags: ,



Condescending Westerners focus too much on Tibet
August 25, 2008, 2:06 am
Filed under: International relations, Politicians | Tags: , ,

“In a Western and elitist way, we have viewed China’s right to its Olympic Games, to its ‘coming out’, its moment of glory, with condescension and concessional tolerance.”

Paul Keating, who also argues that China’s horrible human rights record is just a different “value system”:

“The Western critic, feeling the epicentre of the world changing but not at all liking it, seeks to put down these vast societies on the basis that their political and value systems don’t match up to theirs.”



Sit and think of England
August 21, 2008, 9:32 am
Filed under: International relations, Sport | Tags:

“Think positively…At least the Poms are now sitting for England, rather than just lying back and thinking of it.”

Marcus Coleman, Kingston ACT, letter in the Sydney Morning Herald in response to a reader who argued that Britain was winning its medals for sports that involved sitting.



Whingeing Aussies have no class
August 21, 2008, 9:11 am
Filed under: Cultural Cringe, International relations, Sport | Tags:

“So we British stole our medals and our coaches. When are you guys going to lose gracefully? And we are supposed to be the biggest whingers. At least when England or Great Britain lose they admit they were beatn by better teams on the day.”

Keith of the UK writes to the Daily Telegraph in response to moans about how Australians who trained or coached other Olympic teams were “traitors”. Lily Murray of Glebe agrees;

“Were Australian coahes pressganged into coaching the Brits? On loettery funding and gambling addiction – this coming from a nation that has 20% of the world’s poker machines. Show some Australian class and generosity and just say “well done Brits but we’ll beat you next time”.

Peter Flyyn of Dapto has a different viewpoint:

“The fact that the most notorious British tabloid is crowing about taking more gold medals than Australia, shows a cultural cringe on their part. That they feel such a thrill at passing a nation with a third the number of people is an enormous compliment (albeit inintended). “



Do they think all Australians are morons?
August 21, 2008, 8:09 am
Filed under: Sport, The Media | Tags: ,

“The ACCC should investigate the Seven Network’s hold on TV rights to the Olympics. Obviously they made their successful application on the premise that all Australians are morons.”

Sophie Coleman, WA, letter to The Australian.



No meaningful sledging
August 20, 2008, 7:50 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: , ,

“But the chief culprits have been the swimmers, who failed us all. Why should we care so much about swimming, anyway? How can we be so interested in a sport that offers so little opportunity for meaningful sledging?”

Aaron Timms, who isn’t too impressed with the dressage:

“If there’s one Olympic sport that captures the spirit of open-minded, dynamic, egalitarian Australia, it’s dressage – a competition in which pampered, tights-wearing nobodies get to dress up in tails and sit down for a few minutes tp boss around their horses.”



“They’re serving it up to me”
August 20, 2008, 12:28 am
Filed under: International relations, Sport | Tags: ,

“They’re certainly serving it up to me. Their new-found cockiness has got some substance to it.”

AOC president John Coates to a roomful of “downcast” Australian journalists at the Beijing Olympics. To date the British have won 16 golds, compared to Australia’s 11. Coates added:

“I said at the outset, and my sense of pride says, that we can’t let them beat us and they may well beat us this time but let’s use that as the incentive to get the planning right for our high performance and our attack on London 2012.”



The Poms are winning! The world is at an end!
August 19, 2008, 1:47 am
Filed under: Aussie Aussie Aussie, International relations, Sport | Tags:

“The Brits have overtaken Australia on the medals table. This darkness has descended, and yet there has been no declaration of national emergency. Clearly, Kevin Rudd hasn’t been the same since trying the Great Wall red at the opening ceremony dinner.”

So reflects Peter Hanlon. What has gone wrong?

“Once, not so long ago, Australians were a proud people who walked tall with jutted jaws. The Poms were a source of amusement, a fallen imperial master weeping over a dog-eared scrapbook, its tattered images of Steve Redgrave, Seb Coe, Mary Rand and those blokes from Chariots Of Fire fading by the day.

As much as it hurt, you’d hear them say: “Why can’t we be good at sport, like you Aussies?”

Triumphal, you’d smile, pat their bowed heads, and offer an almost heartfelt, “There, there, at least you’ve got Amy Winehouse.”

Now there’s not a hutong in Beijing you can disappear down without a smug cockney voice trailing you on the breeze, Bazza McKenzie impersonation in full swing. “Jeez cobber, what’s happened to the Aussies, mate, ay? Bloody crook, fair dinkum!” Oh, the shame.”



Critics sitting on their arses
August 18, 2008, 7:06 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: ,

Mixed responses to Leisel Jones’s silver medal the 200m final at Beijing, a race she was widely expected to win.

“Massive, massive choke.” “Yo Yo”, who said that her loss was the biggest upset in Australian sporting history.

 

Others came to Jones’s defence:

“Tall-poppy syndrome is alive and kicking. Most of you should take a long, hard look at yourselves and realize how sad, pathetic and green with envy you are.” Ryan, NSW.

 

“I’m sorry, I thought everyone bagging Leisel was sitting on their arses watching the Olympics on TV. I must’ve been mistaken, you’re all the second best at something and c;ear;y you’re all perfect and infallible. Get a grip and a life.” Sarah-Jane, Brisbane.



Acting dumb turns out to be a stupid move
August 18, 2008, 4:22 am
Filed under: Sport, The Media | Tags: , ,

“Her gaffes include asking if the 48kg weightlifting category referred to the athletes or their barbells, wondering why the term “chink in the armour” might go down badly in Beijing and questioning what happened if it rained during the 800m track event.”

Seven’s instructions to Sonia Kruger to “act dumb” during the Olympics may be backfiring on the network, as viewers appear to have been alienated. Serves the network right.