The Art of the Australian Insult

Disaster! Tragedy! Handbag stolen!
June 6, 2008, 12:13 am
Filed under: Celebrities | Tags:

“Patti Newton had her handbag stolen. Forget Burma, forget the earthquake in China. For two long nights, I tossed and turned. Who stole Patti’s handbag? How on Earth was Bert coping? It all seemed so unfair. And then, on Tuesday morning, news came through that Victoria Police had apprehended two suspects and recovered key items from Patti’s handbag. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I could now go about my business safe in the knowledge that the mystery of Patti Newton’s handbag had been solved. In decades to come, the question all Victorians can expect to be asked by enwuiring young minds is this: where were you that fateful Sunday when you heard the news that Patti Newton’s handbag had been stolen?”

Kevin Rugg of Beaumaris, Victoria is ready for his saucer of milk now. Letter to the Sun-Herald, June 1 2008. To read all about how Patti Newton’s handbag was stolen, click here.


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