The Art of the Australian Insult


Crabb swims in rivers of fatuity
July 8, 2008, 8:51 am
Filed under: Politicians | Tags: ,

Annabel Crabb, commenting on the premiers conference which addressed the crisis in the Murray-Darling river system, which is said to e months away from total collapse, observed that the meeting produced “a rich environmental flow of fatuity”.

 

“Years of blocking tactics, of pinched parochial interest, if parched downriver deprivation gave way and massive environmental flows of jargon were released.

A great gout of gobbledegook burst forth, flooding through the great river system, bringing life and cheer to its shrunken tributaries and thirsty creeks.

Intergovernmental agreement! A Whole-of-Basin Plan! Vehicles for long-term reform! Interstate regulatory arrangements! The re-engineering of the Lower Lakes! …

Children who had lived their whole lives without so much as glimpsing a real live “framework for action” romped and splashed in the shallows…individual buzz-words sparkled like fish between the reeds.”

 

Crabb was not impressed with Rudd’s $3.7 billion worth of projects:

“The existence of the $3.7 billion is not new – it’s part of the old Howard government $10 billion plan, which the Rudd Government has topped up and refitted for its own use in a sort of governmental “Pimp my Ride” exercise.”

Noting that Rudd had told an interviewer, “Well, one of the things you can’t do as Prime Minister is make it rain,” Crab admitted, “Fair enough. But who needs rain, now the river folk can down pints and pints of political pidgin.”

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