The Art of the Australian Insult


“Eat your heart out, Melbourne”
August 21, 2008, 9:00 am
Filed under: Place, Politicians, Sport | Tags:

“Eat your heart out Melbourne. Nowhere to be found. (Melbourne will) be left to compete with Adelaide and Brisbane and the rest of the cities. We compete with the world because we are Australia’s only global city.”

NSW Premier Morris Iemma gloats over Sydney’s inclusion on a world Monopoly board. Tim Blair wonders at Iemma’s glee: it’s not as if he had anything to do with the inclusion after all:

“He’s the accidental Premier, is our Morris. We’re talking about his Government’s single greatest accomplishment here, and the Government had nothing to do with it. Morris Iemma is the Steven Bradbury of Australian premiering.”

Blair goes on to suggest a few chest cards for the new game:

  • “YOU are seated next to Belinda Neal at a coastal restaurant. Do you know who she is? YOU DON’T? Lose a turn and two teeth;
  • “YOU have been appointed to the board of the Macquarie Bank. Sit back, put your feet up and talk about books for the rest of your life, Mr Carr;
  • “YOU have been elected as the member for Cabramatta. Go directly to Coogee;
  • “YOUR road has been blocked, forcing you into a toll lane. Give $50 every day to a public/private investment consortium.;
  • THE Health Minister still hasn’t called. Miss a turn while you sleep in the car; and
  • YOU break your Bulldogs contract. Go directly to France.”
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