The Art of the Australian Insult


Strap yourselves in
September 17, 2008, 3:30 am
Filed under: Business

“Is there any possibility of the following truly breathtaking roller-coaster rides being introduced at Luna Park?

The Currency Gravity Crusher: our humble currency, nearly as high as US$1 only a matter of months ago, now plummeting towards the low 70s even as the US dollar freefalls in parallel (a real crowd-pleaser that one).

The Oil Price Ride of Death: you are ushered onto the ride by a funky young oil speculator and tightly strapped into your little plastic seat. All too quickly oil prices reach dizzying heights, then fall again just as rapidly – you don’t know whether to scream or laugh by the time that ride is over.

The Reserve Bank Megafobia: the Reserve Bank raises interest rates to control inflation, despite many protesting it will stall the economy. Strapped into your mock jet aircraft seat, you go up, up, up, then suddenly the cockpit starts a death-defying about-face as rates are lowered seemingly only nanoseconds later! Not for the faint of heart.

What’s next? God bless you financial gurus, you speculators, you panic merchants.”

 

Mark Wright Abbotsford, letter to the Sydney Morning Herald.

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