The Art of the Australian Insult


Blackadder and the lettuce leaves
March 25, 2009, 11:31 pm
Filed under: Classic Insults, Politicians

“They had a bloody great inquiry, all for nought. I was happy to say I shouldn’t have said it.”

Greens councillor Leigh Williams, on an enquiry into whether he told a former councillor, Ted Books, to “fucking shut up and piss off” at a council meeting during a debate “over whether premises that packaged mixed lettuce leaves should be permitted to operate in a residential area.”

Independent reviewer Stephen Blackadder assessed the evidence in an enquiry that cost some $5,000:

“In his 26-page report, Mr Blackadder examined conflicting evidence about the precise words used. Was it, “Ted, will you f—ing well shut up, and f—ing piss off?” Or was it, as one of Mr Books’s supporters claimed, “Why don’t you f—ing shut up Ted and piss off out of the place?”

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How to respond to an insult
October 19, 2008, 11:58 pm
Filed under: Classic Insults, The Media | Tags:

“Dear Sir,

The offer of your daughter’s hand in marriage intrigues me. Please send me a photograph by return mail.

Yours sincerely,

Bill Leak. “

Response by the well-loved cartoonist Bill Leak to a particularly abusive letter from a member of the public. Leak is currently in an induced coma after a freak accident over the weekend.



Straight shooting
June 3, 2008, 9:18 am
Filed under: Classic Insults | Tags:

“Shoot straight, you bastards.”

Harry “Breaker” Morant, famously shot by the British for killing Boer prisoners of war during the second Anglo-Boer War.