The Art of the Australian Insult

The temple of the McMansionites
March 27, 2009, 4:55 am
Filed under: Lifestyles, Religion | Tags: , ,

“Why are Christians, who celebrate the renovation of their souls through the rise of a carpenter on Easter Sunday, so selfish as to deny the MacMansionites access to the Sacred Temple of Bunnings, that they may also worship their god(s) and raise a little carpentry in an act of renovation (“No Easter Bunnings”, March 26)?

Peter Fyfe of Erskineville doesn’t see why Bunnings should have to close on Easter Sunday.

A special place in hell
February 12, 2009, 1:03 am
Filed under: Religion | Tags: ,

“Pastor Danny Nalliah believes in hell. His insensitive, heartless, opportunistic and grossly offensive comments about the Victorian bushfire tragedy might yet assure him of a place in it.”

John Apostolakis Lockleys, SA, letter to the Sydney Morning Herald.

Fires were ‘God’s punishment’
February 10, 2009, 12:27 pm
Filed under: Religion

“The Bible is very clear,” he said. “If you walk out of God’s protection and turn your back on Him, you are an open target for the devil to destroy.”

Pastor Danny Nalliah of Catch the Fire Ministries blames the devastating bushfires in Victoria on the state’s abortion laws, saying that the carnage was God’s punishment. Nalliah thus continues the tradition of the blaming of natural disasters on human sin by assorted religious nutcases. 

No doubt those people who have lost friends and family to the flames think he’s a fine example of a good Christian.

The Lord and His mysterious ways

“God’s will be done. If it is God’s will that he should stay and remain a thorn in our side, then so be it. But I’d find that hard to understand.”

Reverend Fred Nile, who has urged supporters of the Christian Democratic Party to pray for the removal of Reverend Gordon Moyes. Dr Moyes says that Revered Nile is anti-gay, anti-Muslim and indifferent to the problem of climate change. He also says the Reverend Nile, at 74, is too old (he himself is a sprightly 70).

Please hitch a ride back to the century in which you belong
October 17, 2008, 1:58 am
Filed under: Religion | Tags:

“It’s astounding that any organisation – religious or otherwise – can still argue about women’s inherent and ordained inferiority.

The next time Doctor Who and the Tardis come to town, could Peter Jensen please hitch a (one-way) ride back to a century in which he belongs? And could the Doctor please let the new girl do the driving?”

Sue Hawthorn Mosman on the resistance of the Anglican Church in Sydney to the ordination of women.

People Aussie blokes hate
September 21, 2008, 11:21 pm
Filed under: Celebrities, Politicians, Religion, Sport | Tags: , ,

“Sonny Bill is someone who did something no Australian should do, he ditched his teammates and walked out. We’re calling him Money Bill Williams for scarpering off to another continent just for the cash.”

Zoo editor Paul Merrill  comments on the lad mag’s annual People We Hate list. Labor MP and Iguanagate veteran Belinda Neal was third behind the Bali bomber, with the Pope featuring in seventh for “shutting down our streets and filling them with a bunch of weirdos” during World Youth Day in Sydney.

“Generally we don’t like him (the Pope) he’s old and looks a bit strange, like he should be in Star Wars,” Merrill said.

TV personality David Koch merited inclusion “because he’s a bit of an old fart”.  The full list:

1. Sonny Bill Williams – Bulldogs deserter

2. Amrozi – Bali bomber dubbed the smiling assassin

3. Belinda Neal – Tantie-throwing, night-clubbing federal Labor MP

4. Wayne Carey – Misbehaving former AFL player

5. Nick D’Arcy – Dumped from Olympic swim team over assault claim

6. SA Attorney – General Michael Atkinson

7. Pope Benedict

8. Indy 500 General Manager, Greg Hooten – banned booze and boobs.

9&10. John Earnest and Anne Deaves – father and daughter who became dad and mum.

11. Big Brother 2008 winner Terri

12. Corey Worthington – Melbourne party boy

13. Greg Norman – golfer

14. Mercedes Corby – convicted drug smuggler’s sister

15. Schapelle Corby – convicted drug smuggler

16. Peter MacDonald – James Hardie boss who avoided paying compensation

17. David Miscavige – Scientology boss

18. Dennis Ferguson – accused pedophile seeking compensation

19. Kyle Sandilands – radio host

20. David Koch – Sunrise presenter

21. The girl from the AAMI ads

22. Marcus Trescothick – English cricketer

23. Rove McManus – comedian

24. George W Bush – US president

25. Toadie from Neighbours

26. Bank CEOs

27. Japanese Whalers

28. Radovan Karadzic – accused genocidal Serb leader

29. Sheik Yamani – price-rising Saudi oil minister

30. Martin Lawrence – actor

31. John Darwin – Briton who faked own death

32. Sarah Jessica Parker – actor

33. Jamie Oliver – TV chef

34. Todd McKenny – Radio and TV host

35. & 36. Rick Dyer and Matthew Whitton – gave false hope to Bigfoot believers

37. Judge who jailed lesbians in Dubai

38. Gordon Ramsay – foul-mouthed chef

39. Britney Spears

40. Patrick Swayze – gets cancer, continues to smoke

41. Tamsyn Lewis – Olympic athlete

42. Amy Winehouse – drug, booze and self-pity hound

43. Pamela Anderson – no-show for Zoo Weekly

44. Madonna – singer

45. Joanna Griggs – voice of the Olympics

46. Heath Franklin – comedic performer and writer

47. Peter Hore – serial pest

48. Heather Mills – Paul McCartney’s former wife

49. Tim Johnson – the Firepower man

50. Milton Orkopolous – former NSW pollie and convicted sex offender.

“Can’t hear ourselves think”
September 9, 2008, 6:36 am
Filed under: Religion | Tags: , ,

Two responses in the Sydney Morning Herald to news that the organist at Sydney’s St Andrew’s Anglican cathedral has been asked to tone down the music he plays at the end of services because it is too loud and parishioners “cannot hear themselves think”.

“Given the anti-intellectual stance of most modern evangelicals, I don’t think it’s the organist’s fault that parishioners of St Andrew’s are having trouble thinking.” Anthony Hooper, Oatley.

“Music at St Andrew’s is an easy target and has been since the takeover of the Anglican Church in the Sydney diocese by those modern-day Puritans, the Jensens. They will not rest until every vestige of what makes the Angloican Church Anglican is replaced by a dumbed-down, one-size-fits-all, mindless, soulless and Godless “worship facility” devoted to the delivery of a sermon.” Greg Oehm, Robertson.