The Art of the Australian Insult


Whose fault is the lack of rooting?
April 2, 2009, 10:26 pm
Filed under: Sex | Tags:

“Cocooned in married bliss, well fed and watered, with someone else changing the sheets and washing the towels, they quickly go to seed. Their beer bellies swell, body parts droop, and their breath goes sour, and don’t they get all of us in the mood.”

Wendy Frew responds to Bettina Arndt’s controversial exhortation to Australian women to just do it. In contrast, women are expected to stay looking good:

“It’s hard to keep up appearances, hard to keep the crow’s feet at bay and hard to keep your tummy taut. But that is what is expected of women. We are expected to keep ourselves nice, keep our weight down, do our hair, paint our faces and dress like we’re not off to Coles. But not men.

And yet it’s our fault there’s not enough rooting?”



Cricket as code for sex
April 1, 2009, 12:12 am
Filed under: Sex, Sport

Some great entries in Sam de Brito’s blog on cricketing terms as code for sex, including:

Duckworth-Lewis: The formula employed to gauge how many drinks you’re prepared to buy a woman in order to get her into bed.

Enforce the follow-on: Sex after sex. “Mate, we both woke up at 10am and she enforced the follow-on.”

Right-arm orthodox: The missionary position.

The yorker: An acute, well-delivered line or action that virtually guarantees sex. “We were getting on pretty good and they I yorked her, so she had to play at the ball.”



“She can screw herself instead”
March 20, 2009, 10:51 am
Filed under: Politicians, Sex | Tags:

“….stop screwing with the people of Strathfield and screw her- self instead”.

Strathfield Independent Councillor Danny Lim put forward a motion suggesting a sex toy be purchased for NSW Fair Trade Minister Virginia Judge.

Judge has since lodged a complaint with the council calling for action against Lim.



Decorative dolls for the pleasure of men
March 12, 2009, 10:54 pm
Filed under: Cultural Cringe, Entertainment, Sex, Social class | Tags:

“I think you are trying to turn us in to decorative f*** dolls for the service and pleasure of men.”

Northern Territory sparkette and Ladette to Lady contestant Sarah Brunton, to the headmistress of the finishing school attempting to, well, finish her. She also called an aristocrat an “inbred tosser”.

Good for her.



Cheap and Nasty
February 25, 2009, 2:01 am
Filed under: Sex, Social class, The Media | Tags:

Two responses to the diabolical TV show otherwise known as Australia’s version of Ladette to Lady:

“Using the terms intelligent and pole dancing in describing the same person is a con. I may be female, feminist and 50, but I know suckers when I see them. Women, young and old, who believe that behaving like the worst of the lads is liberation and freedom are in for a rude shock when wisdom kicks in.

Raunch is not a product of feminism. But it is all about “product”. If women are ever to be more than commodities in their own eyes or the eyes of men, they would do well to defy the pressures from marketers and image makers who prey on them from the cradle to … well, about 50.”

Mhairi Fraser Goulburn

“However, I suggest the behaviour of both the ladettes and the ladies are contrivances of talentless television directors who set out to fashion the actors into caricatures in order to sell a cheap and nasty program.”

Brian O’Donnell Burradoo



A tale of too many bare titties
February 18, 2009, 3:52 am
Filed under: Sex, The Media | Tags:

“Alas, the only real crime I witnessed during Monday night’s Underbelly: A Tale of Too Many Bare Titties was the assassination of any suspenseful storytelling, complex character development and clever dialogue by scene after scene of soft porn. Titillating, perhaps cutting edge in the 1970s, but rather passe and lazy by current TV standards.”

Wendy Quiggin Surry Hills, letter to the Sydney Morning Herald.



Too much to bear
February 17, 2009, 4:47 am
Filed under: Horse and Carriage, Sex

“While I’m open-minded, I draw the line at lesbian couples being permitted to have children (“Doctors warn on lesbian IVF win”, 14-15/2). The thought of some poor bloke having two mothers-in-law is too much to bear.”

Mike Young, Floreat, WA, letter to The Australian.