The Art of the Australian Insult


As entertaining as trench warfare
March 13, 2009, 11:10 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: ,

“Rugby league is as entertaining as trench warfare. Mud, booze and brain damage. No one wants it any more. Chuck the whole squirming gunny sack into the harbour. Australian Rules and soccer are far superior.”

Frank Campbell, Elmhurst , Vic, letter to The Australian.



Men in suits screw men in footy boots
September 10, 2008, 6:36 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: , ,

“THE appalling crowd attendance at the Sydney AFL elimination final between the Swans and the Kangaros clearly demonstrates that AFL is not a football code that belongs to Sydney, and never will be. Sydney is forever the heartland of rugby league, and rightly so. The AFL’s plans to create a second team in Sydney is therefore ill-advised and an arrogant disregard of Sydney’s overwhelming rugby league culture.

As Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse once said of the suits in AFL House: men in suits always screw men in footy boots, rank and file footy fans in both codes included. “

John Bell Lyneham, ACT, letter to The Australian.



Corporate greed goes beyond the grave
July 28, 2008, 2:54 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: ,

“The AFL has taken corporate greed beyond the grave and has trampled on the grief of a young football-loving family on which the growth of the AFL depends…if it does not issue an immediare statement formally rescinding its disgusting policy, it will have to face the families of diehard AFL fans in Victoria who will defiantly continue to drape the coffins of their loved ones in their beloved club emblems.”

John Bell, letter to the Sun-Herald, in response to revelations that the AFL denied permission for a Sydney Swans fan to be buried in a coffin bearing the logo of the club.



The Foot Wars
July 18, 2008, 3:58 am
Filed under: Place, Sport | Tags: , , ,

“Rugby League is the only game on earth that is less fun than work.”

Tim Blair, who maintains that Rugby League is a “cruel joke playe don the working classes”. In contrast. AFL teams are thriving, even in Adelaide, “where the local economy is based on kidnapping”.

Rugby League fan Luke McIlveen hits back, declaring that Tim Blair “writes shit nobody understands”. “I’ve never sat through an AFL game from start to finish, but I;m told it goes longer than World Youth Day – only with less chance of becoming involved in a physical confrontation.” He also mocks Blair for coming from Melbourne:

“Surprised, in fact, you made it out of one of those quaint lanway wine bars long enough to polish your specs and turn your mind to something other than carbon credits.”