The Art of the Australian Insult


Make Belinda minister of child nudity

Today’s Daily Telegraph brings with it several letters in response to the nude picture of six year old Olympia Nelson on the cover of Art Australia Monthly. Interestingly enough, given the decidedly hostile tone of the newspaper’s own coverage of the issue, most of the letter writers thought it was all a bit ridiculous:

“I am still struggloing with the fact that a picture of the child could conjure up images of pronogrpahy, depravity, sex or obscenity in any reasonable person’s mind.”

writes grandfather of five Saul Moss, who adds that it’s “a storm in a teacup”. G. Bears wonders about people who see anything sexual in a six year old:

“Hey, Mr Rudd, it’s a six-year-old child. OK, she’s got no clothes on, but if you think it’s “disgusting”, you’re as sick as the old pervs who think it’s sexy.”

Neville Ridge is also annoyed by Kevin Rudd:

“I thought priggery had gone about as far as it could go under John Howard and some of his ministers but they were nothing when compared to the religious prudery we are now being subjected to by Kevin Rudd. Lighten up Kevin. what will you complain about next – nude pictures of babies?”

Perhaps the best summary of the involvement of politicians in matters of moral urgency is provided by Con Hallias, who writes:

“I totally agree with our political leaders. We should ban all nude child photos. I am sick and tired of my mother marching out the old photographs of me on a rug, having a bath, running through the sprinklers. Give it up, Mum – everyone knows I was a cute baby.

I think we should allow our politicians to run every aspect of our lives. After all, they are our moral superiors, aren’t they?  I nominate Belinda Neal for minister of child nudity.”

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A bunch of childish idiots

“It’s safe to say that he [Henson] thinks they’re a bunch of idiots of bringing this up again.”

An “art insider” is quoted on the rumpus over the nude photograph of a six year old girl as featured on the cover of Art Monthly Australia. The quote appears in a Daily Telegraph article headlined “Even art world slams cheap childish stunt”. Unfortunately for Henson, he has already been linked to the issue, as evident in the following letter to the same paper:

“So Mr Henson now has support from another quarter to add to the artsy drivel that came from Cate Blanchett and Malcolm Turnbull, who both threw their hands up in horror insisting that Henson’s right to free expression was being denied to him.

When are these so-called defenders of civil liberties going to realise that there is a society out thee that is more interested in protecting the young and vulnerale among us, than listening to their ego-driven self-centred complaints.”



When Daily Telegraph subeditors get creative
July 4, 2008, 6:12 am
Filed under: Everyday Insults, Sport | Tags: ,

poo



“Complaining is all they can do”
July 3, 2008, 5:09 am
Filed under: Religion | Tags: , ,

“Still, let them complain. Because coming up with something more creative is beyond them, complaining is all they can do.”

The Daily Telegraph, staunch defender of working families,  thinks that all the people writing to the Sydney Morning Herald to complain about World Youth Day have no imagination.

“As Jack Gibson said: “This mob would boo Santa Claus”.”



Bionic brains, anyone?
June 27, 2008, 7:05 am
Filed under: Politicians | Tags:

“A report in the media last night tells us of a bionic ear to help people hear and a bionic eye to help people see. Any chance of a bionic brain to help pollies think?”

K Hansen, Kingscliff, letter to the Daily Telegraph.



a petty, insipid, soap opera of a country
June 25, 2008, 6:16 am
Filed under: Aussie Aussie Aussie | Tags: , ,

“We will never be a great people. This ridiculous, small-minded obsession over an argument in a nightclub involving Belinda Neal, while issues like the Iraq War and genuine refugees being sent hom to torture and execution hardly raise eyebrows, illustrates why  we can never amount to anything more than a petty, insipid, soap opera of a country.”

Liam O’Neill, letter to the Daly Telegraph.



Fight! Fight! Sydney vs Melbourne
June 25, 2008, 2:21 am
Filed under: Place | Tags: , , , ,

Revelations that Gordon Ramsay’s first Australian restaurant will be located in Melbourne led to lots of Melbourne-bashing in the Daily Telegraph. “AP” of Sydney offers:

“Being a Pom, of course he would choose a place where he would feel at home – cold, crime-ridden and full of whingers. Melbourne is perfect.”

“SM”, also of Sydney, was equally dismissive:

“That grey, cold, windy and wet town down south is welcome to this fool. TV cooks don’t do anything for me. However, it appears that this obnoxious prat is endearing to some. The whole foul language and bad boy image is so predictable and just a pretty shallow gimmick.”

“NIck” thinks that Melbourne is a bit up itself:

“Melbourne is too busy comparing itself to the rest of the world, although the rest of the world ha snever heard of Melbourne. When not doing this, Melbourne likes pretending it is Paris. Bleak City has a climate which makes a grubby little laneway seem like paraise. Sydney doesn’t care either way – we don’t try to be something we’re not.”

At least “George” stands up for Melbourne:

“Sydney’s food is crap. You can’t find a decent meal apart from a few posh places where you can’t get a table anyway. At least in Melbourne we don’t have the snobbery of Sydney.”

And “Rod” from Perth, who is presumably unbiased, says that Melbourne “wins hands down”:

“There’s not much to get excited about in Sydney. Pretty much the same as any other capital city.”