The Art of the Australian Insult


The arse end of the earth
March 13, 2009, 9:05 pm
Filed under: Politicians | Tags: , ,

“Has Paul Keating been vindicated? If the best term we can come up with to describe what the IMF calls the Great Recession is “shitstorm”, could it be that Australia really is the arse end of the Earth?”

Stephen Jeffery, Sandy Bay, Tas, letter to The Australian in response to Kevin Rudd’s shitstorm.

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“Everyone thinks politicians are shits”
November 14, 2008, 3:40 am
Filed under: Politicians | Tags: , ,

“Politics is about leading people. We’ve got to the stage where everyone thinks politicians are shits and they’re not worth two bob, and everyone kicks the shit out of us every time we get an increase in our salary.”

Paul Keating, speaking in 1990, as quoted by Alan Ramsey. More recently, Keating has observed of Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull: “Kevin is all about acclaim, and if he doesn’t watch himself he’s going to find a very smart opponent right up his arse. Turnbull is no dope.”



Loose-lipped mumblings
November 10, 2008, 10:30 pm
Filed under: Politicians | Tags:

“Paul hasn’t realized his 15 minutes of fame has long expired. He is no longer relevant (was he ever?) and his loose-lipped mumblings are more of an embarrassment than talking about.
It’s not the first time he has come up with something which has proved to be no more than out-of-date ramblings.”

Hilda Gray, Loftus, letter to the Daily Telegraph.



Outdated, outmoded, ousted
November 5, 2008, 12:04 am
Filed under: Politicians | Tags:

“WOULD The Australian please tell Paul Keating to shut up? The rest of us did years ago. He is outdated, outmoded and ousted.”

Andrew Parkinson, Allora, Qld, letter to The Australian.



Keating disses Gallipoli
October 31, 2008, 3:21 am
Filed under: Politicians, State of the nation | Tags: , ,

“The truth is that Gallipoli was shocking for us. Dragged into service by the imperial government in an ill-conceived and poorly executed campaign, we were cut to ribbons and dispatched — and none of it in the defence of Australia. Without seeking to simplify the then bonds of empire and the implicit sense of obligation, or to diminish the bravery of our own men, we still go on as though the nation was born again or even was redeemed there. (It is) an utter and complete nonsense. For these reasons, I have never been to Gallipoli and I never will.”

Paul Keating at the launch of a book on Menzies and Churchill. Kevin Rudd has subsequently disagreed, saying on radio today,  “I think Paul is completely wrong on that, completely and utterly, absolutely 100 per cent wrong.”



Restaurateurs are “squatters”
October 7, 2008, 12:57 am
Filed under: Lifestyles, Politicians | Tags:

“What’s happened is your Sydney bog-standard restaurateur, they [have] got the squatter instinct. They are in the overseas terminal and they are staying.”

Paul Keating rails against restaurateurs in the Overseas Passenger Terminal at Circular Quay. One of the targets of his ire was recently named best restaurant in Sydney.



Condescending Westerners focus too much on Tibet
August 25, 2008, 2:06 am
Filed under: International relations, Politicians | Tags: , ,

“In a Western and elitist way, we have viewed China’s right to its Olympic Games, to its ‘coming out’, its moment of glory, with condescension and concessional tolerance.”

Paul Keating, who also argues that China’s horrible human rights record is just a different “value system”:

“The Western critic, feeling the epicentre of the world changing but not at all liking it, seeks to put down these vast societies on the basis that their political and value systems don’t match up to theirs.”