The Art of the Australian Insult


Parsley on the fishes and loaves
July 22, 2008, 8:29 am
Filed under: Religion | Tags: ,

And yet more World Youth Day commentary, this time from the august pages of The Australian:

“The only infallible Pope I know is my old washing machine. Hasn’t missed a beat in 20 years amd has no dirty washing to apologise for.” Peter West, WA.

“I enjoy bread and circuses. Now the Pope has gone, can we have throwing Labor to the lions to maximise the use of our former Olympic facilities?” Michael Stanbridge, NSW.

“Can we have our secular Oz back please?”

pleads John Wilson of Tasmania. Lyall Chittleborough gets all philosophical:

“If faith is a further step beyond the possibilities of reason, it commands respect, and offers some sound basis for life choices, but clap-happy, gingered up gala events do little to foster the intelligent approach required for life in the modern world – and even less for the credibility of the institution which claims to have answers to life’s great questions.”

“Why am I reminded of parsley on fish?”

Ken Craig, SA, is not impressed by the Pope’s apology to victims of sexual abuse.  And some, like Warwick Hempel, writing to the avcowecdly pro-WYD Daily Telegraph, just can’t be convinced to part with their cynicism:

“Catholic World Youth Day is finally over, thank Christ. What a big pity he could not pick up the bill.”



Age of miracles

A huge range of comments relating to World Youth Day have appeared in local newspapers over the past week. Here is a selection, some positive, some negative, some critical of said negativity:

“The Pope’s warning about false idols should ensure bona fide pilgrims shop only at the official World Youth Day souvenir shops.” Adriana Maxwell.

 

“More public transport, pedestrians wandering safely down a quiet George Street with cars and buses diverted, proposed draconian police powers put firmly in their place and (here’s the real miracle) smiling, polite teenagers. I lapsed long ago, but …hallelujah!”

Robert Verhey.

 

“This sneering, intolerant criticism of everything smacking of World Youth Day brands us as rednecks and is a downright embarrassment.” James Burfitt.

 

“if they’re so keen to stop dwelling on old wounds, why do Catholic Church leaders still re-enact and carry on about the crucifixion?” Wendy Varney.

 

“The Chaser disguises are much better now. They fooled me.” Doug McLaughlin.

 

“And we thought Cate Blanchett was overexposed during the 2020 Summit pilgrimage.” Peter Sesterka.

 

“The real crime against humanity perpetuated by World Youth Day is what Mercedes-Benz has done to its lovely ML 430 vehicle to facilitate the vehicular perambulations of the Pope.” William Simon.

 

“How delightful (and fitting) to see a gumnut on the papal pate. May Gibbs would be chuffed.” Margaret Pritchard.

 

George Street with no cars. Now that is a miracle.” Gemma Purcell.

 

“Can I sue for annoyance at seriously out-of-tune Catholics randomly singing in my presence? Shouldn’t they have been subjected to an Idol-style elimination before being allowed into the country?” David Breeze.

 

“There is no relief. First the Barmy Army and now the Psalmy Army.” Frederick Hewison.

 

“It is indeed a disappointing day when one of Sydney’s leading newspapers becomes nothing more than a blinkered, sycophantic pamphlet for World Youth Day. Reportage is one thing, but touting the WYD logo on the front of the newspaper, and headlines such as “On the Hungry Mile, a feast of goodwill”, amid a host of mind-numbingly similar stories about paradise, hope and joy is quite another thing.” Diana Louis Shahinyan.

 

“I’m getting a little queasy at the quasi-worship of the Pope. He is only a man, for goodness sake. As for his infallibility, he has obviously never argued with a woman.” John Christie

 

“There’s something Animal Farm-ish about the Pope’s warning to youth not to be seduced by television images that depict violence as entertainment. The World Youth Day organizers have ensured one and all can watch the whole production of The Stations of the Cross on screens at Circular Quay, the Royal Botanic Gardens and Crescent Precinct in the Domain. Perhaps a case of your violence bad, our violence good.” Joan Kunze.



Age of miracles: Big Brother is axed

Lots of celebration of the demise of Big Brother. Take this online comment:

“The Pope arrives in Sydney and Big Brother is axed – the age of miracles is not over.”

Bill Muehlenberg of Heathmont Victoria writes that when there is so much bad news around, good news is always welcome.

“And it doesn’t get much better than to learn that Big Brother will no longer be disgracing our small screens. BB was arguably one of the worst shows ever to air on australian television. It was an excuse for voyeurism, gratuitous sex and exploiting young people. Although eight years overdue, I can hear champagne corks popping around the country.”

David Ingram of Randwick is also thrilled:

“Eclipsing the visit of the Pontiff for World Youth Day, more pleasant than the continual saga concerning Schapelle Corby, and more compelling reading than anything to do with carbon emissions is the much awaited news that the most tedious, tiresome, televised tripe perpetrated on the australian viewing public has, after eight long, mindless years, finally been booted off television. If Pam Anderson, Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O couldn’t save this rubbish, then nothing could.”



No work ethic here
July 15, 2008, 11:57 pm
Filed under: Politicians, Religion | Tags: ,

“The Pope arrives in Sydney and immediately takes a three-day break? Kevin 24/7 needs to talk to this bloke about his work ethic.”

Mike McKee, Umina NSW, letter to The Australian.