The Art of the Australian Insult

“You better not poo”
November 18, 2008, 3:48 am
Filed under: Toilet humour, Transport | Tags:

“They gave me two extras but by yesterday morning I was down to the last one and I had to say to her, “You better not poo.”

Francis Chippeck, who travelled with her two year old daughter on a Qantas flight from Singapore. Passengers spent more than 24 hours on the plane after it was delayed by storms, and a refuelling stop.

Belinda is nasty to Brendan
September 4, 2008, 6:15 am
Filed under: Politicians | Tags: , ,

“[Ms Neal], like all MPs, must in the future maintain the higher standards of behaviour expected of all members. Ms Neal’s future in politics, like all other MPs, depends on the member’s capacity to meet the standard of behaviour expected by the Australian public.”

Spokesperson for Kevin Rudd, in response to reports that embattled Labor MP Belinda Neal had allegedly verbally abused Liberal leader Brendan Nelson on a Qantas flight. Neal was angry that Nelson had described her as a “ugly bully” during the aftermath of the Iguanagate fracas.

Low Malaysian standards
July 30, 2008, 2:34 am
Filed under: International relations | Tags: ,

“Other than racism or jingoism, is there any reason in the mind of some correspondents why overseas servicing of planes is inferior to local servicing?”

Sydney Morning Herald reader Henry Brender ponders the afternmath of the incident in which a Qantas 747 developed a sizeable hole at 29,000 feet and had to perform an emergency landing in Manila.  The fact that Qantas planes are serviced in Malaysia was cited as evidence of a decline in safety standards.

The cancer kangaroo
July 16, 2008, 8:53 am
Filed under: Transport | Tags: ,

“Perhaps the flying kangaroo should be renamed the cancer kangaroo, such is their insistence on the inflight sale and display of a product that will ultimately kill more than half of long-term users.”

Anti-smoking group Quit executive director Fiona Sharkie comments on revelations that Qantas is reintroducing the sale of duty-free cigarettes on its international flights. Sharkie calls this a “greedy cash grab” but Qantas management says it is merely responding to customer demand.