The Art of the Australian Insult


Old English farts
July 31, 2008, 3:08 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags:

“The game is faster, with fewer nitpicking penalties at the breakdown. The backs are allowed to run again.

Which means, of course, that northern hemisphere rugby is furiously resisting the change. The English Rugby Union regards the reforms as a sinister colonial plotto destroy all that it holds dear, and the Old Farts of the London rugby media are stampeding to agree.

This is because England still relies on fat and lazy forwards to do the job.”

 

Mike Carlton approves of the Experimental Law Variations in rugby union.

Advertisements


Say it isn’t so, Sonny
July 30, 2008, 3:16 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: , , ,

News that star Bulldogs player Sonny Bill Williams has fled NRL, a victim of the fatal temptation of French rugby union Euros, has sent the nation in a state of mourning. That is the only conclusion one can reach based on the reaction of fans and fellow players. The papers showed a fan standing with a banner reading $BW= JUDAS AU REVOIR. An anonymous Bulldogs player summed up the feelings of many when he said:

“He’s lost the respect of not only every Bulldogs player but everyone in the country.”

Fans are deeply hurt and angry:

“Sonny Bill has been a winner, now he has to learn to lose without spitting the dummy and running away to join a circus.” Tom Daly.

Bryan Doyle is bereft:

“Say it isn’t so, Sonny. Say it isn’t so and come back.”

Others see signs of moral failure of an entire generation:

“Sonny Boy Williams is the new poster boy for Generation Y. Self-absorbed, greedy, lacking in values, no concept of repercussions and when the proverbial hits the fan. running away like a coward. Corey Worthington, eat your heart out.” Adam Olsen.

Some blame the NRL and the team itself:

“Greed breeds greed and what goes around comes around. The Bulldogs are moraly entitled to money from no man.” Terry McCormack.

“Surely this young man is simply exercising the same value system that he has learnt from the very organisation that is now wringing its hands about his behaviour: do what you like, when you like, as often as you like, and you’ll most often get away with it.” Robert O’Connor.

Rugby union fans are unsympathetic:

“To all you whining rugby league fans crying about us union guys plifering your players – tough – you have been doing it to us for almost 100 years – now the shoe’s on the other foot and I, for one, love it…I hope we steal as many league players as possible so league dies and you realise it’s only popular in western Sydney.” Phil of the Gold Coast.

Finally, there are those who attempt to find humour in the situation:

“I guess that we will be hearing the phrase “chance of some lengthening Sonny periods” from now on. Terry Stormon.

“I thought Sonny Bill Williams has been a bit sheepish of late. Ewe might think he’s been pulling the wool over our eyes for a while now. Whether or not he has, he still should be baaed.” Terry Hadfield.