The Art of the Australian Insult


As entertaining as trench warfare
March 13, 2009, 11:10 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: ,

“Rugby league is as entertaining as trench warfare. Mud, booze and brain damage. No one wants it any more. Chuck the whole squirming gunny sack into the harbour. Australian Rules and soccer are far superior.”

Frank Campbell, Elmhurst , Vic, letter to The Australian.



Big city, small-minded outlook
October 8, 2008, 1:47 am
Filed under: Place, Sport | Tags: , ,

“While visiting my parents in Sydney, I noticed just how small-town the city had become. The anti-Melbourne sentiment displayed by the public and in the media leading up to the NRL grand final was ungracious, biased, unreasonable and offensive.
Clearly, Sydney cannot be regarded as an international city with such a small-minded outlook.

Apart from too much sunshine, I would much rather live in big-hearted Melbourne where even a win by the Sydney Swans is embraced and cheered.”

Cait Ellis Parkville (Vic), letter to the SMH.



Hate Manly, but leave Beaver out of it
September 30, 2008, 6:16 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: ,

“HATE Manly, by all means. Please, be our guest. The Daily Telegraph, more than any other media institution, understands the value of tradition and accepts that NRL-wide hatred of Manly is decades long.

But don’t hate Steve Menzies, who represents exactly the opposite of the Manly stereotype.”

Daily Telegraph editorial.



“You created the pig”
September 18, 2008, 3:05 am
Filed under: Sex, Sport | Tags:

“Come on David, you helped create the pig. Stop whingeing when it wallows in mud.”

Daily Telegraph reader Barry Avery of Taree comments on NRL boss David Gallop’s concerns about the culture of boozing in clubs. Three Bulldogs players have been accused of sexual assault in the latest incident.



A Hollywood Divorce
August 13, 2008, 4:28 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: ,

“This is now becoming a bitter Hollywood divorce and the longer it takes, the more childish the NRL and the Australian media will look. The NRL needs to realise that Sonny Bill Williams is simply not coming back.”

Dave Terangi, Brisbane, letter to the Daily Telegraph.



Say it isn’t so, Sonny
July 30, 2008, 3:16 am
Filed under: Sport | Tags: , , ,

News that star Bulldogs player Sonny Bill Williams has fled NRL, a victim of the fatal temptation of French rugby union Euros, has sent the nation in a state of mourning. That is the only conclusion one can reach based on the reaction of fans and fellow players. The papers showed a fan standing with a banner reading $BW= JUDAS AU REVOIR. An anonymous Bulldogs player summed up the feelings of many when he said:

“He’s lost the respect of not only every Bulldogs player but everyone in the country.”

Fans are deeply hurt and angry:

“Sonny Bill has been a winner, now he has to learn to lose without spitting the dummy and running away to join a circus.” Tom Daly.

Bryan Doyle is bereft:

“Say it isn’t so, Sonny. Say it isn’t so and come back.”

Others see signs of moral failure of an entire generation:

“Sonny Boy Williams is the new poster boy for Generation Y. Self-absorbed, greedy, lacking in values, no concept of repercussions and when the proverbial hits the fan. running away like a coward. Corey Worthington, eat your heart out.” Adam Olsen.

Some blame the NRL and the team itself:

“Greed breeds greed and what goes around comes around. The Bulldogs are moraly entitled to money from no man.” Terry McCormack.

“Surely this young man is simply exercising the same value system that he has learnt from the very organisation that is now wringing its hands about his behaviour: do what you like, when you like, as often as you like, and you’ll most often get away with it.” Robert O’Connor.

Rugby union fans are unsympathetic:

“To all you whining rugby league fans crying about us union guys plifering your players – tough – you have been doing it to us for almost 100 years – now the shoe’s on the other foot and I, for one, love it…I hope we steal as many league players as possible so league dies and you realise it’s only popular in western Sydney.” Phil of the Gold Coast.

Finally, there are those who attempt to find humour in the situation:

“I guess that we will be hearing the phrase “chance of some lengthening Sonny periods” from now on. Terry Stormon.

“I thought Sonny Bill Williams has been a bit sheepish of late. Ewe might think he’s been pulling the wool over our eyes for a while now. Whether or not he has, he still should be baaed.” Terry Hadfield.



The Foot Wars
July 18, 2008, 3:58 am
Filed under: Place, Sport | Tags: , , ,

“Rugby League is the only game on earth that is less fun than work.”

Tim Blair, who maintains that Rugby League is a “cruel joke playe don the working classes”. In contrast. AFL teams are thriving, even in Adelaide, “where the local economy is based on kidnapping”.

Rugby League fan Luke McIlveen hits back, declaring that Tim Blair “writes shit nobody understands”. “I’ve never sat through an AFL game from start to finish, but I;m told it goes longer than World Youth Day – only with less chance of becoming involved in a physical confrontation.” He also mocks Blair for coming from Melbourne:

“Surprised, in fact, you made it out of one of those quaint lanway wine bars long enough to polish your specs and turn your mind to something other than carbon credits.”